Melt The Glass Ceiling
Are you a career woman? Do you work in a male dominated workplace? In Melt The Glass Ceiling, your career coach, Lisa Liszcz, will share tips and strategies on developing the career of your dreams. New episodes drop each week.
Melt The Glass Ceiling
Are You Ready to Set Boundaries and Reclaim Your Time?
Ever wondered how setting boundaries could be the key to unlocking your full potential? Discover the transformative power of building better boundaries in this episode of Melt the Glass Ceiling. We'll unpack the essential role of boundaries in safeguarding your mental and emotional health, preventing burnout, and fostering authentic, trust-building conversations. Learn four practical tips to create effective boundaries and hear about a free resource loaded with six additional strategies to bolster your journey towards a more balanced, successful life.
Boost your productivity and well-being by mastering the art of boundary-setting. From defining your non-negotiables and setting clear work hours to the empowering practice of saying "No," and the rejuvenating benefits of scheduled breaks, Lisa covers it all. Implementing even one of these strategies can make a significant difference in your energy levels and overall success.
Connect with me, @lisaliszcz, on Instagram or join my private Facebook group for professional women to dive deeper into this transformative topic and become part of our thriving community.
Your feedback and engagement are what drive this journey forward, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts!
Click for more info and support:
- Download your free 10 Tips for Building Better Boundaries
- Join our private facebook group for professional and executive women
- Connect with Lisa on Instagram for regular tips, posts, and info
Hello and welcome back to Melt the Glass Ceiling. I'm so glad you're here today. I've been gone for a little while. I'm sorry about that. I have been teaching like crazy teaching leadership courses for leaders and helping people really elevate their leadership game and that's been a lot of fun for me. But I'm thrilled to be back at Melt the Glass Ceiling and I'm so glad you're here and that you're listening.
Speaker 1:Today I am talking about one of the key topics that I talk about regularly with coaching clients. What is it? Well, it is building better boundaries. It is building better boundaries, building better boundaries that help us to be emotionally and physically healthy and happy and reduce our stress and help us have more joy and success in life. Boundaries what's a boundary? Okay, a boundary is just what it sounds like. It's really about defining where you begin, where you end, what your non-negotiables are, what people can expect or do when they're collaborating with you, when they're partnering with you. It's really an opportunity for you to define who you are, what you stand for, but I don't want to make it too complicated. It's really more simple than that, but it really is, on a day-to-day basis, about defining how you will be treated, how you expect to be treated who you are, what others can expect from you, so that we can all get along and be productive and successful together.
Speaker 1:Why is setting healthy boundaries so important for us as professional women? Well, first it's like building a protective shield around ourselves. It's kind of like putting ourselves into a bubble a little bit to help protect our mental and emotional health. As I said before, to protect our mental and emotional health when we're clear about what's okay and what is not okay around us, we are less likely to get pushed around or overwhelmed by the demands of other people. Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Do you ever feel like people expect so much of you? Do you feel exhausted? You know, one of the red flags for me when I'm working with a client and for myself is when we start feeling resentful. If someone says they really resent how much. Someone asks them for help or asks them to do their job for them or to be always available, when we start feeling that resentment, that's a sign that either we have weak boundaries, no boundaries, or a boundary has been violated and we haven't spoken up for ourselves. If you feel that cringy kind of sense of fatigue, exhaustion, overwhelm, to the point of resentment. Chances are very good that your boundaries have been violated or you don't have boundaries, so let's talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 1:Good boundaries are the secret sauce of great relationships. So relationships at work and at home and with friends all of our relationships, personally and professionally can benefit from healthy boundaries. And having those boundaries defined and protected when we speak up about our needs or our limits, it opens the door for honest and respectful conversations. Doesn't that sound like a good thing? Honest and respectful conversations? I just sigh with a sense of relief. I just feel like, oh aha, that's how we build trust and understanding with others and that's what most of us are looking for. You know, that connection, that trust, understanding that's what we're looking for. And having boundaries and enforcing those boundaries help with that process.
Speaker 1:Setting boundaries helps us stay focused on what really matters most. You know, I talk to so many people who say I work hard all day, I get up early, I work late, but at the end of the day I don't feel like I'm working on what matters most. I don't really feel like I'm making progress. But when we have boundaries, we protect our time, we protect our energy and we work on what really matters most. I talk about. The things that matter most are top priorities really being what will move the needle for you. What will move the needle for you personally and professionally?
Speaker 1:By saying no to things that don't fit our values and our goals, we can pour our energy into truly what is most important for us, but it takes some time to define those values and goals so we know what to say no to. You know anything that doesn't align with our values and goals that we say no to that. But first we have to do the work. We have to define our values and our goals. Having boundaries shows that we respect ourselves. It is like telling the world hey, my needs matter too. I matter too, I'm important, I'm valid. What I'm working on makes a difference and needs the time, the space and the support for me to be able to do what I need to do and to work on my values and my goals, to show that we value ourselves and that we have confidence, and to help others value us too and learn ways to support us. Finally, clear boundaries just makes life better overall. They give us a sense of control and balance, both at work and at home. It's like finding that sweet spot where everything clicks. Are you ready for everything to click? Me too, I know, and boundaries are something that I've worked on for a long time personally, and I can tell you it's an ongoing practice because as you evolve and change and your life evolves and changes, we need to rethink our boundaries and refresh them and make sure that they are supporting what it is that we want in life.
Speaker 1:I have four tips for you today on building better boundaries and, of course, I always have a freebie for you. I've got a list of 10 tips for building better boundaries. I'm going to go over four of those tips today. I strongly recommend that you download that freebie, because you get six more tips and I'd love for you to just pick one to work on over the next few days and see if it works for you. I find this to be the most effective way to make differences in our lives is to just pick one thing at a time and practice it. See how it works. If it works, great, keep doing it. If not, find another tip on the list, go to the next one and try that one out and you may find that there are two or three that really work for you, but I want you to have the benefit of all 10 of these great tips, so that you can practice each of them and see which really work for you. The link is in the show notes, so be sure to get your download today. Okay, are you ready? Here we go.
Speaker 1:Tip number one define your non-negotiables. Defining your boundaries and implementing your boundaries. It takes some time, it takes some effort, and this first step is really where you want to invest some time and energy. Find some time to yourself, just in a quiet place, close the door, make sure you won't be interrupted, and I'd like for you to just spend some time asking yourself some questions. What is most important to you in your professional life? What is most important to you in your personal life? What are your values? What are your goals? After you've defined what is most important to you and what your values and your goals are, you can use this information to clearly define what we call non-negotiables. Your non-negotiables are what you can use to help you make better decisions. Every day, you're going to look at your non-negotiables and decide whether or not you want to say yes to something or no to something, where you're going to spend your time, where you're going to spend your energy. This helps you to just stop saying yes to everything and overwhelming yourself and working on things and spending your time on things that don't have meaning for you. So once you get your non-negotiables defined, you have so much more clarity around where to spend your time, how to spend your time.
Speaker 1:One of my non-negotiables is you know, I need my sleep. I'm just somebody who needs my sleep. I go to bed early, I get up early. That's what I like. That's what works for me. So if somebody asks me about doing something where I'm going to be out late, where it's going to interrupt my sleep, interrupt my ability to go to bed early, I'm probably not going to do it, unless it's just a really special opportunity that aligns with some of my other values.
Speaker 1:Another non-negotiable for me is I strongly value my relationship with my husband. I like spending time investing in that relationship. That relationship is important to me. So making a commitment to anything where I'm not as available for that relationship is not something that I'm going to do, whereas something that sounds interesting for us to do together, that I think we would enjoy, would help deepen our relationship. So opportunities to do something that support that value, that's more where I want to put my time and my energy. So when I'm given the opportunity to make a decision about saying yes or no to something, I look at my values and my goals and I use boundaries to support them. Alrighty, so that's tip number one Define your non-negotiables.
Speaker 1:That is really the basis for building better boundaries, because when you're clear on your values and your goals, then you know what you want to spend your time on and everything else is stuff you don't want to spend your time on. So set those non-negotiables. Tip number two set clear work hours. This is so important for all of us. You know this virtual age of cell phones, internet, everything. Work time has really blurred into all the time right, and so we want to set some clear work hours. That is a very important boundary.
Speaker 1:Establish and communicate your work hours to colleagues and all your other stakeholders, your family, everyone else who is affected by your work time. By defining when you are available and when you do this, you reduce the likelihood of you burning out. You know to say to people I'm going to check in on my email first thing in the morning and around two o'clock in the afternoon, and again before I go home at the end of the day, to just let people know what your schedule is and when you'll be. Checking information from them helps them and it helps you To tell people look, I'm going to when I get home, I am going to turn off all devices at 7 30 because that's the time I spend, you know, with myself, with a friend, with my children, with my spouse.
Speaker 1:Set up that boundary so that people know when you're available and when you're not. This really helps people respect your time, respect your energy and just understand the rules. Everybody wants to understand the rules. What are the guidelines? What is the framework within WeWork? If people should not be looking for you on a Sunday, let them know that. Say I don't work on Sundays, I don't check my devices, that is family time, that is time for me, that is time when I'm at church, whatever it is, so that people know that they're not going to be hearing from you and that if they send information, you're not going to get it until Monday morning.
Speaker 1:Once you set those clear work hours, stick to it. And while we're talking about time and setting boundaries around our time, I always tell my clients and I want to give this tip to you that you need time every day, one or two hours on your calendar when you are not to be disturbed. If you can't do one hour every day, think about two hours three days a week, or an hour and a half three days a week. You need some time just to organize your brain, organize all of your tasks, and you need some time to do some work. If you have to write a report, if you have to brainstorm some ideas on a strategy, you need time for that. So decide when you're going to block out time for yourself on your calendar.
Speaker 1:Put up your do not disturb notice unavailable on Teams or whatever it is that you have or whatever it is that you have Teams, slack, whatever it is that you have and let people know you are not to be bothered, you are not to be interrupted. Close your door. It's okay. I know 90% of the time you're going to have your door open. I get it, but this is a time when you close your door. You put up the do not disturb sign. If you have an administrative assistant, you ask them to protect your door. Do not let people in unless it is a life and death matter. Use that time to get done what you need to get done for you. That really helps to reduce that sense of overwhelm. Plus, you're going to be role modeling good behaviors for the people who work for you and around you. So I highly recommend you need an appointment with yourself a couple, two, three times a week or daily, whatever works for you to get organized and stay on top of your work. Again, this communicates to yourself and to others that your time is to be respected. So there we go. We have defined our non-negotiables and we have set clear work hours.
Speaker 1:Tip number three and this is a big one practice saying no, and there's a couple of things you need to be able to just let that roll right off of your tongue. Say no, no, thank you, no, I have a conflict, no, that's not going to work for me. Just practice saying it, because what I find is so many of us are just not used to saying no and if we practice it, we can get more comfortable with it and it can come out with more confidence. Learning to say no to requests or tasks that do not align with your values or that overwhelm your schedule is healthy for you and it's an important part of self-care. It's an important part of self-care. It's also a big part of developing habits that help you to be successful and less stressed out. Politely declining additional responsibilities can help you maintain your focus on your top priorities and help you protect your time. You're going to have less stress. You're going to deal with less overwhelm.
Speaker 1:I highly recommend just learning to practice saying no. Say at least once a day. I'm going to say no, no, no, thank you, no, I won't be doing that. No, I have a conflict. And then just start watching yourself get more done. You're going to find so much more time and energy because you are aligned with your non-negotiables. So get used to saying no. By practicing saying no, you can say no to yourself while you're driving in the car, when you are in the shower, when you're putting on your makeup. Just say no, no, thank you, no, and you know what this actually ties in with that practice of setting clear boundaries around your work hours.
Speaker 1:I mentioned defining and setting appointments with yourself as part of setting clear work hours. Part of your work hours is appointments with yourself to get your work done that you are responsible for and accountable for so many of us, and I do it myself. I get behind on what I owe people because I'm helping others, and so then I fall behind and my work is late or my work is not as good as I would like for it to be, and that I know it can be and should be. So when, as part of setting clear work hours, I set appointments with myself which I label as not available time, that is the time that I'm dedicating to getting things done that are top priorities for me, and if I have that time in my calendar and someone wants to see me during that time, that is a request I am going to say no to, because I have a conflict and I have an appointment with myself. I am one of the most important people that I have appointments with, because that is how I get my work done and I deliver.
Speaker 1:Spending that time with myself on a daily or several times a week basis is part of what makes you and me a good boss, an effective leader, an effective person who's getting work done, who is taking time to think about priorities and strategy and not just shooting from the hip or throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. This time is critical. It is some of the most important time that I invest. That helps me be successful and helps to support the company and the team goals. So, as part of setting clear work hours, you're going to set that not available time. That is an appointment with yourself and then when people ask for some of that time, you're going to say no because you've practiced saying no, you're comfortable saying no and you're clear about your non-negotiables and how important that time is for you. So that's tip number three practice saying no and then just enjoy getting more done and feeling less overwhelmed. I'm starting to feel so excited for you.
Speaker 1:This is going to get you more energy and more time during your day. Are you ready for tip number four? Here we go. Tip number four you need to schedule regular breaks for yourself. That's right. You need to take some breaks, incorporate short breaks into your daily routine. This is going to recharge you and reset you. Try to go for a different environment, a different experience, a different activity. This refreshes your brain so that you can come back fresh and new to be creative and to solve problems. Get up and move. Walk around the block Working from home. Walk around the house, go up and down the stairs, do some burpees, do some jumping jacks, do a few push-ups, turn on some music and dance around, do what you need to do to get the blood flowing. So you're going to get the blood flowing, you're going to get your brain into something different from what you've been doing. When we can shift the brain and the thoughts and the perspective into something different, that really rejuvenates our problem solving and creativity abilities.
Speaker 1:The day, I like one around 10. I like one around 2 and maybe another one around 3 30, depending on how long I'm going to work that day. My favorite things to do are to go walk around the block, go walk around the house, go drink a big glass of water, turn on some music, maybe dance around a little bit, maybe look at something on the internet like a cute kitten or a funny joke, maybe look at something on the internet like a cute kitten or a funny joke and that just seems to refresh me. I need those breaks during the day. Sometimes I can just be looking at an issue or a problem or a plan that I'm creating and I just feel stuck. I just start to slow down and my mind slows down and my creativity feels blocked and I just need to get up and get away from it and if it's a nice day outside getting outside really helps and just enjoying nature and getting some sunshine I really like that.
Speaker 1:So that's tip number four schedule regular breaks. So we have our four tips. We are going to define our non-negotiables. Get very clear about that. Set clear work hours and really that's clear availability hours with everyone. We work with everyone. We know.
Speaker 1:Practice saying no and just practice it so that you get comfortable saying no before you have the opportunity and then start by saying no once a day. And finally, schedule regular breaks. We all need that time to get up, refresh, get the blood moving, take some deep breaths, look at something different and come back to our work fresh. Pick just one step this week and you will feel better. If there's just one practice you can add to your daily routine, it will help energize you and help you position yourself for success with less stress.
Speaker 1:We have four tips here, but there are six more on the download and the link is in the show notes. So download that freebie and read about those other six tips and start trying out a couple. If you can try one or two this week, that would be great. You'll start feeling better right away. You'll have less stress, you'll have more confidence and guess what? You're going to be a better role model for others. The more successful you are, the greater your sphere of influence is, and I'm here to help you grow your sphere of influence and build your success with joy.
Speaker 1:Be sure to get that full list using the link in the show notes, and let me know if you have any questions or ideas or suggestions. You can always DM me with that link in the show notes or check me out on Instagram at Lisa Lish on Instagram. You can find me there or join my private Facebook group for professional women working in corporate. The link is in the show notes. I always love to hear from you. I love to hear your questions, I love to hear your suggestions, so take one minute right now and reach out to me. You would make my day. Thank you so much for listening. Now go melt the glass ceiling.
